Toilet Moves

ChessBase has a hilarious report by the inimitable (and, sadly, too often untranslatable) Andre Schultz on a case of computer cheating at a recent tournament. (The answer, for those of you who remember the boardgame 'Clue': "The patzer, in the restroom, with Pocket Fritz.") Andre is usually just on the German ChessBase site and is always very funny, and not just for a German.

This episode reminded me of one of my favorite Nigel Shortisms, "a toilet move." This was defined to me by Nigel as "when you really have to go to the loo so you make any move that won't ruin your position and run off." The less literal-minded will take it to mean a planless waiting move.

My last toilet chess reference (for now) is from the Kramnik-Deep Fritz Bahrain match. Kramnik had a rest area with a well-stocked fridge, a sofa, and a nice fruit basket. Every room in the complex was labeled, and they had put "Kramnik's Rest Room" on this one, although there wasn't a toilet. I guess it was true, literally. Anyway, I thought it was funny and when the match was over I grabbed it off the door as a souvenir. It now adorns my bathroom door (just in case Vlady stops by). Posing in the picture is one of my cats, Bagley (from Argentina). What do you mean photos of my bathroom are too much information?!? This is the Daily Dirt, not the Economist!

Computer cheating in chess has become quite an issue, and not just in online play when every loss quickly becomes, "aww, he's a comp" to the paranoid (like me). In the 2000 London world championship match between Kasparov and Kramnik there were metal detectors and security personnel for players, guests, and fans alike. No cell phones, nothing electronic at all. This sounds paranoid, but it's not too much when you consider that a person at home with a powerful program could send a phone text message to someone in the audience who gives a few head gestures to a player on stage at a critical moment. Easy to do, hard to detect, impossible to prove. (Having Pocket Fritz in your lap would be a bit easier to catch.)

I'll use this space to plug a nifty little program for those who have Palm Pilots like I do. Chess Tiger for Palm looks good and will give you a decent game even on an old Palm (and compatible) and can import and export PGN.