The latest chapter of the now-you-see-it, now-you-don't FIDE Grand Prix series begins tomorrow in Nalchik, Russia. Live game link. Also on the ICC. Our spy on the scene sends in this remarkable report from the inevitable music and folkdancing segment of the opening ceremony.
The highlight was some cute little girls singing "I want to play like Svidler". As I'm sure Peter is too humble to mention it himself, I figured I'd do him the favour.
Indeed! And I'm sure the Dirt readers can come up with equally inspiring song titles and lyrics in honor of El Svid and other participants in Nalchik. They are: Aronian, Leko, Ivanchuk, Grischuk, Bacrot, Kamsky, Mamedyarov, Karjakin, Alekseev, Gelfand, Eljanov, Akopian, Kasimjanov.
I think the name "Levon Aronian" has great musicality and can be sung to the tune of Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again." E.g. "Levon Aronian, I just can't wait to play Levon Aronian. The life I love is following Marshall Gambit trends, and I just can't wait to play Levon Aronian." Don't worry my daughter, I'm not quitting my day job.
chess observer in the comments rocks the mic with a full rendition of "Mamedyarov Rhapsody." A can't miss. This will help you sing along.
"I see a little cigarette in his hand,
Scaramouche, scaramouche where did the man go?
Empty pack and lighter - nothing too indicting"
I'll give it a shot ...
------------------------
Mamedyarov Rhapsody?
Is this a real game,
or just for fans to see?
Caught in a Fritz net,
No escape from the mating threat;
Don't need to sigh,
the game is a lie.
I'm such a GM, I'm in the high elite;
Sometimes I win, sometimes I draw,
Win on time; lose? Oh, no!
Anyone can lose, though it doesn't really happen to me...
to me.
Mamed, you just lost a game.
Played a line you knew how well?
Could you really lose? You fell.
Mamed, the game had just begun
Now you're peeved and think he went astray.
Mamed, ooh, oo-ooh,
You mean he tried to ply?
If he's not banned you're not back to play tomorrow --
Carry on, carry on, as if no one could ever beat you ...
Too bad, you left, you're gone,
Feeling suspicious all the time
Wondering who's the one to find
Smoking on the stairway - It's quite a show -
Gonna leave it all behind and face the truth -
Mamed oooh - (anyone can lose, though)
I don't want to lose,
I sometimes wish I'd never been beat at all -
I see a little cigarette in his hand,
Scaramouche, scaramouche where did the man go?
Empty pack and lighter - nothing too indicting
Where did it go, Where did it go?
Where did it go, Where did it go?
Where did it go, Where did it go?
Where did it go? I don't know - I gotta go!
But I'm never lost and nobody beats me
I'm never lost, he cheated can't you see?
Spare me the truth - I survive monetarily -
If he stays, I will go, did you Kurnosov -
Bismillah! no, he did not Kurnosov - Kurnosov -
Bismillah! he did not Kurnosov - Kurnosov
Bismillah! he did not Kurnosov - Kurnosov
He did not Kurnosov - Kurnosov
He did not Kurnosov - Kurnosov
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Mamedyarov, Mamedyarov;
Mamedyarov korosho!
The arbiter has put the rule aside for me, for me, for me -
So you think you can cheat me and make my king die -
So you think you can mate me and leave me to cry -
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby -
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here -
No one ever beats me,
Anyone can see,
No one ever beats me - so no one ever matters to me,
Anyone can lose, though....
-------------------------------------
Or something like that.
CO
Cool, in the hnear future chessfans singing like soccer fans?
He will be our man
lalala and thats for sure
will do what he can
lalala and thats a lot
Hey ya Ivanchuk,
kill tha bastards on the board
Hey ya Ivanchuk
kill the bastards all
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRXmlrpsff4
Very nice.
Bravo, CO!
chess observer that was the coolest EVER!!!!! I´m still laughing :D
Who has the facilities and musical talent to put this one on youtube? ,:)
This will help you sing along:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhHmRWEUs0E
Well, just replacing the subtitles with CO's world work. Actually singing it, not my thing.
I've always thought Smbat Lputian was a Hanson song...
Mamedyarov-Aronian 0:1 in 32.
Hmm ... did Aronian ever leave the table?
LLLLOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!
CO
Elton John had an old song called "Levon." Chorus went..."he shall be Levon..." I've been calling Aronian "He Shall Be" Levon for a long time.
Full lyrics:
Levon wears his war wound like a crown
He calls his child jesus
`cause he likes the name
And he sends him to the finest school in town
Levon, levon likes his money
He makes a lot they say
Spend his days counting
In a garage by the motorway
He was born a pauper to a pawn on a christmas day
When the new york times said God is dead
And the wars begun
Alvin tostig has a son today
And he shall be levon
And he shall be a good man
And he shall be levon
In tradition with the family plan
And he shall be levon
And he shall be a good man
He shall be levon
Levon sells cartoon balloons in town
His family business thrives
Jesus blows up balloons all day
Sits on the porch swing watching them fly
And jesus, he wants to go to venus
Leaving levon far behind
Take a balloon and go sailing
While levon, levon slowly dies
(This one is dedicated to the participant who isn't there)
They said they'll come to Montreux
On the Lake Geneva shoreline
To play chess with the big guys
You needn't be asked twice
Kirsan knew a guy who had money
And you were the best Swiss around
But some stupid credit swaps
Burned the worlds' banks to the ground
Lost without play-ing, Yannick Pel-le-tier
When they kicked you from the Grand Prix
You made an awful sound
The big guys ended up playing
In lovely Nalchik instead
There was some mad scrambling
They had to find another place
But Swiss luck was running out
You ended up shut out from the race
Lost without play-ing, Yannick Pel-le-tier
CO should be awarded a chessninja star singer t-shirt or something! Awesome!
*applause*
I guess Aronian's rating is high enough that he is 'allowed' to beat Mamedyarov without being suspicious, even with the black pieces. Looking at the game, Mamedyarov presumably didn't even have the chance to offer a draw before his position fell apart completely?
Concerning discussions in the Foxwood thread about top players dropping out before the final round: I do not approve or endorse such behavior, but it is still better if they only blame themselves rather than "doing the Mamedyarov" ... .
I checked Mamed's moves against Aronian on a computer and was astonished to find that 25 out of 32 of them matched exactly. Another cheating scandal? Sadly for Mamed, the computer I tested the moves on was my 1977 SuperDuper Chess Pioneer v1, RAM memory 1k, estimated rating 900 on its highest 10-minutes-a-move setting, which I found under a pile of old Informators in the attic. Maybe we should both upgrade our hardware. Still, maybe there is a special prize for leaving a knight en prise most times in a game...
**To be sung to the tune of Modern Major General**
I am the very model of a modern world elite GM,
I play in many countries and I've beaten Serge Movsesian,
I'm booked up on the theory, Najdorf and of course the Caro-Kann,
I used it just the other week to draw with Lev Aronian,
I also am familar too with openings that start d4,
I play it against Kramnik, that damn Petroff sure is quite a bore,
But against Morozevich I am never sure of what to think,
His kingside attacks even seem to throw at me the kitchen sink!
His kingside attacks even seem to throw at me the kitchen sink!
His kingside attacks even seem to throw at me the kitchen sink!
His kingside attacks even seem to throw at me the kitchen sink!
But truth be told I'm happy as long as the game I do not lose,
Although the fans never seem to be satisfied with this excuse,
For whether I draw one of them or six of them or nine of them,
I am the very model of a modern world elite GM.
I am quite fond of novelties, with them I blow GMs to bits,
If only every single one was not just a product of Fritz,
But still its true my prodigous endgame technique is quite a sight,
I can even mate a lone king with a bishop a king and knight,
I won't go to the extent of cheating with a PC to win,
I'm careful with my bathroom breaks espec'lly around Veselin,
But still I get annoyed with all the kibitzers on ICC,
They all have Rybka running and scream, "SHOULD HAVE PLAYED PAWN TO F3!"
They all have Rybka running and scream, "SHOULD HAVE PLAYED PAWN TO F3!"
They all have Rybka running and scream, "SHOULD HAVE PLAYED PAWN TO F3!"
They all have Rybka running and scream, "SHOULD HAVE PLAYED PAWN TO F3!"
Whenever I play GM chess I am always quite rational,
It serves me well when I play in tournaments international,
I've played in Corus, M-tel, Dortmund just to name a few of them.
I am the very model of a modern world elite GM.
I think I have to bow to TALent on this one. Very nice!
"I think I have to bow to TALent on this one. Very nice!"
Agreed. Bravo.
A certain someone enjoyed this thread:
http://kasparovchess.crestbook.com/viewtopic.php?pid=267258#p267258
bravo talent...!
A little Ricky Martin?
He's into tight Sicilians, black traps and frequent draws.
I feel a premonition that guy's gonna make them fall.
He's into variations - new tricks with the White King's Pawn.
Don't try him on the Closed Ruy Lopez - unless you like going down.
He'll let you play a solid move but he'll win at the end game
You think you're up but then you lose and then you feel the shame
like a hanging Queen (too lame!) Come On!
[CHORUS:]
Upside, inside out He's livin' la vida Leko
He'll push his pawns around, living la vida Leko
His play will make you wish you had a tablebase brain, yo!
He will wear you out livin' la vida Leko Come On!
Livin' la vida Leko, Come on!
He's livin la vida Leko.
CO, bravo sir. Very nicely done indeed.
Another good one! Thank you Oxymoronic Vulcan!!
And just for the record, just in case Mr. Mamedyarov catches wind of this thread (or its citers elsewhere -- ie, Brock's 'certain someone' ref), no disrespect to you or your profession was intended ... 'Rhapsody' was all in good fun. You DO know that, right? :)
CO
Check out http://yashchess.com. Upload your games in PGN format and share them over Twitter, Facebook, Email or just view games others have played.
co, that was huge! you are hired.
Mamedyarov plays the same risky line (1.d4 Nf6 2.c4 g6 3.f3 d5) against Kamsky - CO, are you ready to append text to the rhapsody?
Gata Kamsky, Gata Kamsky,
Gata Kamsky, you're the bomb!
But here's the rub, there's nothing but a draw for me ... for me ... for me!
-------------
There's about a thousand different versions of this song floating around in my brain ... in my brain ... in my brain. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
:)
CO
Compared to the previous operatic masterpieces, this is paltry, but here goes:
To the tune of "Mr. Tambourine Man."
Hey Mr. Gata Kamsky, learn some theory please.
You can't get away, with just the Trompovsky anymore.
Hey Mr. Gata Kamsky, learn some theory please.
The latest openings--that's what databases are for.
Though I know you were a prodigy and justly earned your fame
In the middlegame
And play endings like a latter-day Rubinstein,
To be top-10 these days you've got to innovate
And stay up-to-date
With the semi-Slav and other current critical lines.
Hey Mr. Gata Kamsky, learn some theory please.
You can't get away, with just the Trompovsky anymore.
Hey Mr. Gata Kamsky, learn some theory please.
The latest openings--that's what databases are for.
Just goes to prove a point -- some very intelligent people with way too much time on their hands visit this site!!!
Good one, r!
fantastic lyrics all!
Going over these page, some comments reminds me a song from Pink Floyd's "The Hall" album:
[We don't don't need your education
We don't need your thought control
No DARK SARCASM in the classroom
Hey prichers leave the kids alone!
Allia all justa, another prick in the hall!]
*applause*
THAT IS GOOD OPENING BUT ITS DIFFICULT TO ANALYSIS IT.
THAT IS CHESS
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